Me explained ( well, some of me....)

I recently read an article on a website called Mamapaedia. It's a blog I write on to promote my Mum In Awe site, and it's now and then quite insightful.


The first paragraph of this Mum's blog post struck quite true for me, and this is what it said:

MAKE PEACE WITH THE PAST

Explore where you have been and how the good and the bad has shaped and contributed to the person you are today. I came from being raised in a home where there was no structure, no family time, and no supervision. From this reality, I learned to fend for myself and from this position, I made my own decisions without the influence of what others might think. It was based on my survival and results-oriented. This orientation instilled in me a belief that it was all up to me, and that I could do anything I set my mind too, whether that was being a single mother, going back to school while I had young children to support, or whatever I needed to do. When I became a parent, I committed myself to doing all that I could to create an environment where accountability for family was a priority. I set time for family dinners, rules about when and where my children could go and when they were expected to be back…I don’t know that I would’ve been as strict and as dedicated to giving them a solid foundation if I hadn’t been craving that myself since I was a child.

read the rest here : http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/how-authentic-is-your-life-5-key-steps-to-living-life-on-your-own-terms?fbc1=1

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For many years I've been trying to figure out how to explain my parental actions, and I think the above sums it up nicely.

It explains why I believe so much in boundaries and structure.  It's what I never had.  However, does that mean that kids that get a lot of it will later in life go mad and break all the rules and be rebels? Or will they continue to be rule followers long into their life and never live outside any 'boundaries'?  I am sure there are arguments for both, but as kid get older and more capable, or more exposed to dangerous adult stuff, surely then the boundaries should be even greater, while you explain and teach them about these dangers?  

Or teach them from a very early age so they recognise it early on, and can discuss it with you, which is what I did with my kids about sex and drugs and alcohol. Now we discuss it rationally and they understand the dangers in an age appropriate way.

There is no easy answer I guess, but communication is key, and watching everything they do and who they do it with is important too. At least that way when they get into trouble you're likely to know where and when!!  With any luck you've taught them that following the wrong crowd is not a good thing and they have their own well-honed instincts... Kids learn by imitation after all.....don't they?

Hell, who knows - I make it al up along the way  (like most of us I recon!!!).